Partner’s Role at the Birth

By this second stage of labor, your role in providing loving support for your partner will be well established. You’ve now passed through the most painful phase and have reached the climactic stage of delivery.

SECOND STAGE JOBS

You’ll need to continue doing many of the jobs you did during the first stage-making your partner comfortable, supporting her in different positions, providing drinks and food, and giving moral support. But you’ll also now have to encourage her to push. All this will make the mother’s job easier and help her feel emotionally secure and relaxed.

In the unlikely event of a medical emergency, staff have to move quickly and you might be in the way, so be sensitive to any situation that arises. You probably won’t be asked to leave the delivery room, but be prepared to do so if necessary.

Helping with the delivery position Now that your partner has been through the first stage of labor, she’ll probably know which position she finds most comfortable. Your support is very important to help her through the pushing stage, but always ask the midwife’s advice if you’re not certain what to do. If your partner doesn’t want to be held, suggest other positions that she might find comfortable, and place pillows or cushions under and behind her for support. It’s a good idea to practice different ways of sitting or squatting before labor so that you’re both familiar with them; if you feel unsure or uncomfortable about what you’re doing, it can make your partner nervous.

If your partner is happy sitting on the bed or on the floor, she might like to try the knee-chest position, which many women find comfortable in the second stage. For this, she should drop her chin onto her chest while holding on to her knees. Between contractions, suggest that she relax against the pillow to conserve her energy.

Helping her with breathing and pushing To help her through these last few contractions, tap out a rhythm for the different kinds of breathing, using words like: “breathe, breathe, pant, pant, blow.” As she’s pushing, gently remind her to relax her pelvic floor.

At the peak of contractions, suggest that she take two or three deep breaths and push as hard as she can. She should push in a strong and steady way, and you can remind her that each push brings the birth of your baby a little closer.

Encouraging her to relax Between contractions, help your partner to relax-she needs to save her strength for pushing her baby through the birth canal. Massage her back if she has a backache or needs comforting and reassuring. If she is hot and flustered, mop her brow with a cool washcloth or mist her face with a water spray.

Standing by Once your baby’s head has crowned, your role may become more passive for a while as you watch the doctor or midwife guiding your partner through this pushing stage. Don’t be disappointed if your partner hardly seems to notice you during the birth and relies more on the hospital staff. She’ll be fully preoccupied and involved with what’s happening.

Showing her the baby When your baby’s head is emerging, hold a mirror nearby so that your partner can see his head crowning and then his whole body slithering out. Help her to reach down and touch your baby’s head as he is born.

Loving reception Ask the doctor or midwife if you can catch your baby in your arms as his body emerges. After you’ve greeted your baby for the first time, place him on your partner’s stomach. You can then cuddle them both to help keep them warm and to let them know that you’re there.

You and your partner will have a range of reactions-relief, tears, awed silence, exhausted collapse, whoops of joy. You may even feel squeamish at the sight of his bloodied, greasy, tiny body. Whatever your feelings, they’re all perfectly understandable, and this moment marks a new phase in your family’s history.

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