All About Routines

Planning a routine

Make a list of the things you’d really like to achieve in a day. Don’t be ridiculously over-ambitious – of course you aren’t going to manage to polish the silverware, get through all the washing and ironing, AND make a three­course meal for the evening.

The most important thing is having fun with your baby and caring practically for him. On top of this, there are obviously things that you want to do in the house for yourself and for your family. Take a long, hard look at what you want, and then think about how realistic these aims are and how you could implement them into a routine.

Implementing a routine

Whether you’re setting a routine based on your baby’s daily patterns or creating one that suits you, the key to successfully implementing a routine is to stick at it. You’re going to have to be prepared to invest a bit of time and effort into getting it right.

That may mean being tied by your timetable and absolutely not deviating from it. For example, if you always go out at 10 A.M and get back at 11 A.M. when your baby is ready for a feed and a nap, it’s no good meeting a friend and deciding to postpone the nap because your baby is happy playing with your friend’s child. The routine will quickly go to pot, so you have to decide what matters most – flexibility or knowing what the day ahead holds.

Getting the mornings right is important if you’re setting a routine. Always get up at the same time and always wake your baby at the same time, regardless of whether you’ve had a good night’s sleep or not.

Bedtime routines matter most

Whether or not you’re happy-go-lucky or routine-bound by day, the chances are that you will want some semblance of order in your evenings. For many parents, the evenings are the only time in the week when the family is all together, so there are several issues to take into account when you’re deciding what’s going to be right for you.

For example, if you or your partner ­ or both – have been out at work all day, you’ll no doubt be eager to see your baby. So as a result, you may not want to have strict rules about putting your baby to bed too early. And if you would like to be able to go out a few evenings a week, then you will need to take this into account when you plan your baby’s routine.

Why have a bedtime routine?

You want a bedtime routine because you need a bit of child-free time in your life however much you adore your baby and however much you love being with him. You will want a bedtime routine because, however easy-going you are generally, there comes a point in anyone’s day when you want to know you can get to bed yourself. And if this is your first baby, you will want a bedtime routine in place before you have a second child, because otherwise evenings will quite probably be hell.

On a good day, the bedtime ritual is a happy, relaxed, enjoyable time of the day. On a bad day, looking forward to the certainty that your baby will soon be in bed can carry you through some difficult moments – a bedtime routine can help to lift your spirits.

How to establish a bedtime routine

You need to decide on what time, roughly, you’d like to get your baby to bed. Think about what you’ve got to get finished before then, and then plan out a rough timetable that allows you to do everything in the time available.

For example, you might decide 7 P.M. is the time you want your baby to go to bed. Working back from there, it may be that you or your partner always gets home from work around 6 P.M. – and the baby is always pleased to see you, and you enjoy playing together. So, it would be useful if your baby has had his supper and his bath, and is ready for bed before you or your partner gets home at 6 P.M. Then the baby can have a bit of playtime. He will then have his bedtime feeding and then it’s time for bed. Then, you put him into his crib, read him a story, say goodnight, and then go. Even if he cries, wait a minute before going in to him. As soon as he settles, leave him again. If he cries again, lengthen the time before you go back. Leave it a minute, then 2 minutes, and then 5 minutes. Be firm about this, and your baby will soon find settling down at bedtime easy.

The bathtime routine

Your baby doesn’t need a bath every day until he’s moving around and getting mucky – topping and tailing will be sufficient most days. But many mothers find bath time a good routine to get into, because its a way of drawing the day to a close. Your baby will quickly learn to associate bathtime with winding down before bed.

Bathtime tips

Always look on bath time as a fun activity. If you’re not in the mood for it, you’re better off topping and tailing and doing bath time tomorrow. Sing to your baby, splash him gently, and give him time to enjoy the unusual sensation of being unencumbered by his diaper and his clothing.

Wash your baby’s hair with soap or a gentle shampoo, rinse it, and then brush it through with a soft brush, because this helps prevent or clear cradle cap.

Never, ever leave your baby unattended in the bath. Don’t be tempted to use one of those inflatable bath-rests to support his head – they are absolutely not a substitute for your presence.

Sharing bathtime

Most evenings, it’s more likely that you or your partner will bath your baby without either of you getting in with him. However, it’s fun taking a bath with your baby, and it has the advantage that you can get washed at the same time. If you choose to bath with your baby, make sure that you’re not in a rush, because it can be a time-consuming event!

When your baby is very small, have some around who can hand him into the bath to you and take him from you when to get out.

Being flexible

Routine that allow you to fell on top of things are life­enhancing, but remember that a routine is there to make things easier, not to stop you ever doing anything spontaneous or exciting. Try not to be too inflexible, especially when your baby is young. With a small child, you do have more opportunity to do something unexpected than you will in a few years’ time, for example, when he is tied into a nursery school timetable.

Psychologists say people who are too routine-driven lack confidence in their ability to do things, and feel they lack the power to control their life. If you feel this applies to you, think about why you feel powerless – find someone to talk to about it.

Coping on vacation

Everyone loves vacations – or do they? Perhaps surprisingly, the more you enjoy your routines, the less you may enjoy your vacation. That’s because, according to psychologists, people who “need” routine in their lives fear the loss of structure when they’re on vacation, and may even end up pining for what they have at home.

If that sounds like you, letting your routine go to pot on your vacation may be a bad idea. Instead, try and adapt your routine to your new circumstances. You might want to let your baby sleep for longer in the afternoon, for example, if you’re somewhere hot, and then let him stay up longer at night. In this way, you are still keeping a semblance of your routine, but without letting it interrupt your vacation.

You may find he sleeps well enough in his carriage or stroller in the early evening for you to take him along when you go out for supper. If it takes your baby a while to adjust back into a bedtime routine when you’re home, you can always console yourself with happy memories and a browse through your vacation photos. It really was worth It for such a marvelous time!

Unfamiliar surroundings

Be realistic. Your baby may find it difficult to keep the pattern of his routine when you’re on vacation especially if you are far from home and in a different climate. He may not be settling down to sleep as easily as he does at home, because he’s sleeping in an unfamiliar room. And then there are all those new things that he’s been seeing and doing. It’s not surprising if his routine is unsettled – so don’t expect too much of him.

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