Fathers At the Birth

When the due date is near; make sure your partner can always get in touch with you easily. If you have a cell phone, keep it switched on. Your support during the labor and birth will be a huge comfort to your partner; and you have a practical role, too. Trust your intuition and judgment as to what’s needed and ask for feedback.

DURING LABOR

Your partner will need you with her once labor starts. You may feel that the medical staff have everything under control and there’s not a lot you can do, but there is, and it’s important for you to be there and to be loving and intimate with your partner. However you’re feeling yourself, try to be slow and gentle, quiet and reassuring. Don’t try to do too much and get in the way of the medical staff or become an irritation to your partner; always give her space when she wants it. Be positive and don’t criticize her; she needs plenty of praise, encouragement, and sympathy to keep her going.

Practical help There are lots of things you can do to help your partner cope with the discomfort and the pain of giving birth. Offer practical help such getting her a warm hot-water bottle if she’s got a backache, refreshing her with sprays of water or a cool washcloth if she’s too hot, and giving her sips of water if her mouth is dry. If she wants to go without pain relief, encourage her while it seems reasonable, but if she asks for it, don’t try to talk her out of it. She’s the one who’s in pain. You’ll certainly have talked about it beforehand as part of your planning, and she may at that time have been quite adamant that she didn’t want pain relief. But if she changes her mind in labor, don’t argue with her; nobody can possibly know how they’re going to feel when giving birth until it actually happens.

Seeking explanations Talk to the doctor or midwife if you don’t understand what’s happening, or if you’re worried. They’re there to help both of you, and they are professionals who have your partner’s and your baby’s best interests at heart. At the same time, don’t let the hospital staff and their machines become the focus of your attention. Your job is to support your partner.

Your partner’s moods Keep your sense of humor; if your partner shouts-or swears-at you, or seems to get angry or overwrought, take it in stride. It’s her way of coping with a very stressful situation and quite often happens, particularly at the transition phase of the first stage of labor. Treat it as a positive step toward the birth-it’s a sign that the second stage of labor isn’t far off.

MEETING YOUR BABY

This is the moment you’ve waited nine months for, the moment, when you can take your baby in your arms together for the first time. Everything you’ve just gone through will feel worthwhile. Your doctor will probably lay the baby on your partner’s tummy or give him to one of you to hold while the cord is clamped and cut; take your shirt off so your baby can feel and smell your skin. Hold him close to your face and let him look up into yours. Share this moment and savor it; this is a meeting that will change both your lives forever. It’s also the moment when you claim your new status as parents. You’ll never forget this experience. It’s so emotional that you’ll probably both find yourselves weeping with joy and relief.

AFTER THE BIRTH

After the birth, you may feel as emotionally exhausted as your partner, but don’t forget how physically exhausting labor and birth is for a woman. Because your partner is so tired, she may not appear to experience quite the same emotions as you.

Your partner’s reactions You’ll probably feel a wave of euphoria now that your baby is born, but, particularly if labor has been long and arduous, your partner may be just too tired to enjoy this same “buzz” immediately. It doesn’t mean she isn’t as excited and delighted as you are, but after a lengthy labor, it’s not surprising if she finds it difficult to express her enthusiasm right away. Just hold her close and let her know how proud you are of her and of your new son or daughter. Stay with them both for as long as possible after the birth, and help get them settled into the postnatal ward.

Valuing your role Be ready to congratulate your partner on her achievement, and let her know how much you appreciate her. But although all your thoughts will be with her, don’t belittle your own contribution and the support you’ve been able to give. You may think you haven’t really been much help-this is a common feeling for fathers who’ve seen their partners struggling through labor, particularly if it was a long one. Most mothers, though, say just how important it was to have the emotional support and encouragement from their partner throughout labor and at the baby’s birth.

Saying hello Take the chance to hold your baby while your partner is being stitched, or checked. Go to a quiet corner of the room and get to know the new member of your family. Let her look into your eyes and hold her close, just 8-10 in (20-25 cm) from your face. She’ll be able to see you and smell you, and she’ll learn to recognize you from the very beginning. Remember, too, that sight is not her only way of experiencing this new world, and that the sense of touch is very important to babies. Take your shirt off and hold her against your skin or gently stroke her-both are strong ways of bonding with your new baby.

Ears

Ear infections are common in children because their eustachian tubes are narrow and horizontal; this makes drainage poor and the tubes are easily blocked, leading to middle ear infections.

Waxy Ear

Ear wax is produced by glands in the outer ear canal and protects the ear from dust, foreign bodies, and infection. If wax accumulates and hardens, it can result in hearing loss. Although it’s not usually serious, you should consult your child’s doctor.

Symptoms

Ear wax can become hard and compacted and cause impaired hearing, a ringing sound in the head, or a sensation of fullness in the outer ear. It may be possible to see the buildup of wax.

Treatment Ear drops may be effective. Drops are more likely to be used if the wax has formed a hard plug, as they will soften it, allowing it to come out overnight on soft cotton wool placed at the opening of the canal. You should never try to insert anything into your child’s ear to try to clear wax, not even a fingernail or a cotton bud. They will only push the wax further into the canal or damage the lining of the ear.

Outer Ear Infection

The passage leading to the eardrum from the ear flap can sometimes become infected as a result of excessive cleaning or scratching, the presence of a foreign body in the ear, or after swimming. This can be painful, but is not usually serious.

Symptoms Your child will complain of earache and her ear and outer ear passage may be red and tender. You may notice a puslike discharge from the ear, and a dry scaly appearance. A boil within the ear canal can also cause great pain.

Treatment Home treatment includes keeping the ear clean, giving acetominophen elixir to relieve pain and keep the temperature down, and covering the ear with a cotton pad. Your doctor may prescribe antibiotics or ear drops. Any foreign body or boil in the ear must be dealt with by a doctor.

Middle Ear Infection

Otitis media, or infection of the middle ear, is quite common in children. Until about age six, some children develop such infections with every cold or sniffle. Infections are caused by bacteria entering the middle ear from the nose and the throat via the eustachian tube. Untreated infections can result in permanent hearing loss. Recurrent middle ear infections are often linked with glue ear.

Symptoms The most prominent symptoms are severe earache and loss of appetite. Your child may also have a fever or a discharge from the ear, and there may be some hearing loss. A baby with a middle ear infection may be distressed and pull and rub her ear. She may also have general symptoms such as loss of appetite, vomiting, and diarrhea.

Treatment The usual treatment is antibiotics and pain-relieving medication. At home, keep your children comfortable and cool and give lots of drinks as ,well as her medicines. The child should avoid getting water in the ear until the infection has cleared. Unless she feels very unwell, she can go to school:
ear infections are not contagious.

Glue Ear

If Your child has repeated infections of the middle ear, the middle ear can gradually fill with jelly-like fluid. As the fluid cannot drain away through the eustachian tube, it becomes sticky and impairs hearing because the sounds are not being effectively transmitted across the middle ear to the inner ear, where they are actually heard. It’s important to deal with glue ear promptly, especially when your child is learning to speak.

Symptoms Glue ear generally causes no pain, but partial hearing loss and a feeling of fullness deep in the ear may occur. A child with chronic glue ear may sleep with the mouth open, snore when asleep, and speak with a nasal twang. If glue ear is not treated it can cause permanent deafness, resulting in speech and learning problems.

Treatment The fluid may drain away if left for a few weeks. Your doctor may prescribe decongestants to help drainage. If the fluid does not clear, surgery may be recommended; in this operation, a tiny hole is made in the eardrum and the fluid is sucked out. Then a tympanostomy tube may be inserted; this tiny plastic tube allows air to circulate in the middle ear. Any fluid that forms can drain away through the tympanostomy tube and flow down the eustachian tube.

The tympanostomy tube usually falls out after a few months and the eardrum heals. Occasionally the tube has to be inserted again if the fluid reaccumulates. Doctors usually advise that children avoid getting their ears wet for the first six weeks after the operation, but after that they can usually do anything they like.