The Second Stage: Delivery
Delivery is the main event: it’s what you’ve been getting ready for over the last nine months. Your expectations are realistica manageable labor, not necessarily painless but happy and relaxed, with your chosen birth partner and staff you know around you in familiar surroundings. One of the key factors in your feeling happy and relaxed is that everyone around you is a familiar friend.
CONTRACTIONS AND PUSHING
The second stage is the expulsion stage-you push your baby out. It lasts from the time your cervix is fully dilated until your baby is born and, for a first baby, generally takes less than two hours. The average second stage lasts about one hour, and it may be as little as 15-20 minutes for subsequent babies. At this time contractions are 60-90 seconds long and come at two- to four minute intervals.
You’ll almost certainly feel the urge to push, known as bearing down. The urge is caused by your baby’s head pressing down on your pelvic floor and rectum, and is quite involuntary. Keep your pushing as smooth and continuous as you can; make the muscular effort smooth and slow so that your vaginal and perineal tissues and muscles have enough time to stretch and will be able to accommodate your baby’s head.
The most efficient position to be in when you’re pushing is upright, whether you sit on a birthing stool, stand with your arms around your partner’s neck, or squat. This means that the downward muscular force of your body and the downward force of gravity are working together to push your baby out.
If you’re lying on your back, even if you’re supported by pillows, you’re pushing your baby out uphill against the force of gravity.
This is much harder work, and so delivery is slower.
As you push, it helps if your pelvic floor and anal area are fully relaxed, so make a conscious effort to let go of this part of your body. Don’t be embarrassed if you urinate or lose a little stoollots of women do and your attendants have seen it all before. When you’ve finished a push, take two slow, deep breaths, but don’t relax too quickly at the end of a contraction. Your baby will continue to maintain her forward progress if you relax slowly. If doctors think that your second stage is going on too long, they might suggest using forceps to assist the delivery of your baby.
Choosing a Name
FAMILY TRADITIONS
Names that have been passed down through a family from generation to generation were at one time the automatic choice for many parents, especially for a first-born. If the traditional name was masculine, it was sometimes feminized for a girl (Thomas, Thomasina), especially if there was no male heir. These customs have lapsed in recent times, leading to many traditional family names being dropped, although they are sometimes used as a child’s middle name.
Some families, particularly among the aristocracy in Scotland, and in the American South, used the mother’s maiden name as the first-born son’s given name. This appears to be dying out, although the maiden name is still given as a middle name. Because of this custom, surnames such as Russell, Howard, and Cameron have become normal as first names, particularly for boys. Couples who are not married or in which the woman prefers to keep her maiden name sometimes like to give the mother’s surname as the child’s middle name.
Many parents choose names for their children that work together, although few go as far as the Victorians (see column, right). Some parents like all their children’s names to start with the same initial, although this can cause confusion with letters and official documents.
NATIONALITY
Many parents choose names that reflect where they come from, even though they no longer live there. This can lead to problems of spelling and pronunciation, so the spelling may be simplified from Gaelic to English, for example (Sile-Sheila; Aodan-Aidan). In other cases, first names. that are perceived as being “national” may not be used in their country of origin. Colleen, for example, comes from the Celtic caitlin, meaning “girl” or “wench,” and is popular for girls of Irish origin in North America and Australia, even though it’s not used as a given name in Ireland.
MEANINGS The meaning or origin of a name tends to be less important than its associations for most modern Western parents. Many Western first names have had a more convoluted history than those of other cultures. This is because these names, along with other traditions and customs, have been transferred from one society to another, often by invasion followed by integration, migration, or contact between different cultures. For this reason, many names have become divorced from their original meanings, but some Western parents do still choose names primarily because of what they mean.
Fathers At the Birth
When the due date is near; make sure your partner can always get in touch with you easily. If you have a cell phone, keep it switched on. Your support during the labor and birth will be a huge comfort to your partner; and you have a practical role, too. Trust your intuition and judgment as to what’s needed and ask for feedback.
DURING LABOR
Your partner will need you with her once labor starts. You may feel that the medical staff have everything under control and there’s not a lot you can do, but there is, and it’s important for you to be there and to be loving and intimate with your partner. However you’re feeling yourself, try to be slow and gentle, quiet and reassuring. Don’t try to do too much and get in the way of the medical staff or become an irritation to your partner; always give her space when she wants it. Be positive and don’t criticize her; she needs plenty of praise, encouragement, and sympathy to keep her going.
Practical help There are lots of things you can do to help your partner cope with the discomfort and the pain of giving birth. Offer practical help such getting her a warm hot-water bottle if she’s got a backache, refreshing her with sprays of water or a cool washcloth if she’s too hot, and giving her sips of water if her mouth is dry. If she wants to go without pain relief, encourage her while it seems reasonable, but if she asks for it, don’t try to talk her out of it. She’s the one who’s in pain. You’ll certainly have talked about it beforehand as part of your planning, and she may at that time have been quite adamant that she didn’t want pain relief. But if she changes her mind in labor, don’t argue with her; nobody can possibly know how they’re going to feel when giving birth until it actually happens.
Seeking explanations Talk to the doctor or midwife if you don’t understand what’s happening, or if you’re worried. They’re there to help both of you, and they are professionals who have your partner’s and your baby’s best interests at heart. At the same time, don’t let the hospital staff and their machines become the focus of your attention. Your job is to support your partner.
Your partner’s moods Keep your sense of humor; if your partner shouts-or swears-at you, or seems to get angry or overwrought, take it in stride. It’s her way of coping with a very stressful situation and quite often happens, particularly at the transition phase of the first stage of labor. Treat it as a positive step toward the birth-it’s a sign that the second stage of labor isn’t far off.
MEETING YOUR BABY
This is the moment you’ve waited nine months for, the moment, when you can take your baby in your arms together for the first time. Everything you’ve just gone through will feel worthwhile. Your doctor will probably lay the baby on your partner’s tummy or give him to one of you to hold while the cord is clamped and cut; take your shirt off so your baby can feel and smell your skin. Hold him close to your face and let him look up into yours. Share this moment and savor it; this is a meeting that will change both your lives forever. It’s also the moment when you claim your new status as parents. You’ll never forget this experience. It’s so emotional that you’ll probably both find yourselves weeping with joy and relief.
AFTER THE BIRTH
After the birth, you may feel as emotionally exhausted as your partner, but don’t forget how physically exhausting labor and birth is for a woman. Because your partner is so tired, she may not appear to experience quite the same emotions as you.
Your partner’s reactions You’ll probably feel a wave of euphoria now that your baby is born, but, particularly if labor has been long and arduous, your partner may be just too tired to enjoy this same “buzz” immediately. It doesn’t mean she isn’t as excited and delighted as you are, but after a lengthy labor, it’s not surprising if she finds it difficult to express her enthusiasm right away. Just hold her close and let her know how proud you are of her and of your new son or daughter. Stay with them both for as long as possible after the birth, and help get them settled into the postnatal ward.
Valuing your role Be ready to congratulate your partner on her achievement, and let her know how much you appreciate her. But although all your thoughts will be with her, don’t belittle your own contribution and the support you’ve been able to give. You may think you haven’t really been much help-this is a common feeling for fathers who’ve seen their partners struggling through labor, particularly if it was a long one. Most mothers, though, say just how important it was to have the emotional support and encouragement from their partner throughout labor and at the baby’s birth.
Saying hello Take the chance to hold your baby while your partner is being stitched, or checked. Go to a quiet corner of the room and get to know the new member of your family. Let her look into your eyes and hold her close, just 8-10 in (20-25 cm) from your face. She’ll be able to see you and smell you, and she’ll learn to recognize you from the very beginning. Remember, too, that sight is not her only way of experiencing this new world, and that the sense of touch is very important to babies. Take your shirt off and hold her against your skin or gently stroke her-both are strong ways of bonding with your new baby.
Ears
Ear infections are common in children because their eustachian tubes are narrow and horizontal; this makes drainage poor and the tubes are easily blocked, leading to middle ear infections.
Waxy Ear
Ear wax is produced by glands in the outer ear canal and protects the ear from dust, foreign bodies, and infection. If wax accumulates and hardens, it can result in hearing loss. Although it’s not usually serious, you should consult your child’s doctor.
Symptoms
Ear wax can become hard and compacted and cause impaired hearing, a ringing sound in the head, or a sensation of fullness in the outer ear. It may be possible to see the buildup of wax.
Treatment Ear drops may be effective. Drops are more likely to be used if the wax has formed a hard plug, as they will soften it, allowing it to come out overnight on soft cotton wool placed at the opening of the canal. You should never try to insert anything into your child’s ear to try to clear wax, not even a fingernail or a cotton bud. They will only push the wax further into the canal or damage the lining of the ear.
Outer Ear Infection
The passage leading to the eardrum from the ear flap can sometimes become infected as a result of excessive cleaning or scratching, the presence of a foreign body in the ear, or after swimming. This can be painful, but is not usually serious.
Symptoms Your child will complain of earache and her ear and outer ear passage may be red and tender. You may notice a puslike discharge from the ear, and a dry scaly appearance. A boil within the ear canal can also cause great pain.
Treatment Home treatment includes keeping the ear clean, giving acetominophen elixir to relieve pain and keep the temperature down, and covering the ear with a cotton pad. Your doctor may prescribe antibiotics or ear drops. Any foreign body or boil in the ear must be dealt with by a doctor.
Middle Ear Infection
Otitis media, or infection of the middle ear, is quite common in children. Until about age six, some children develop such infections with every cold or sniffle. Infections are caused by bacteria entering the middle ear from the nose and the throat via the eustachian tube. Untreated infections can result in permanent hearing loss. Recurrent middle ear infections are often linked with glue ear.
Symptoms The most prominent symptoms are severe earache and loss of appetite. Your child may also have a fever or a discharge from the ear, and there may be some hearing loss. A baby with a middle ear infection may be distressed and pull and rub her ear. She may also have general symptoms such as loss of appetite, vomiting, and diarrhea.
Treatment The usual treatment is antibiotics and pain-relieving medication. At home, keep your children comfortable and cool and give lots of drinks as ,well as her medicines. The child should avoid getting water in the ear until the infection has cleared. Unless she feels very unwell, she can go to school:
ear infections are not contagious.
Glue Ear
If Your child has repeated infections of the middle ear, the middle ear can gradually fill with jelly-like fluid. As the fluid cannot drain away through the eustachian tube, it becomes sticky and impairs hearing because the sounds are not being effectively transmitted across the middle ear to the inner ear, where they are actually heard. It’s important to deal with glue ear promptly, especially when your child is learning to speak.
Symptoms Glue ear generally causes no pain, but partial hearing loss and a feeling of fullness deep in the ear may occur. A child with chronic glue ear may sleep with the mouth open, snore when asleep, and speak with a nasal twang. If glue ear is not treated it can cause permanent deafness, resulting in speech and learning problems.
Treatment The fluid may drain away if left for a few weeks. Your doctor may prescribe decongestants to help drainage. If the fluid does not clear, surgery may be recommended; in this operation, a tiny hole is made in the eardrum and the fluid is sucked out. Then a tympanostomy tube may be inserted; this tiny plastic tube allows air to circulate in the middle ear. Any fluid that forms can drain away through the tympanostomy tube and flow down the eustachian tube.
The tympanostomy tube usually falls out after a few months and the eardrum heals. Occasionally the tube has to be inserted again if the fluid reaccumulates. Doctors usually advise that children avoid getting their ears wet for the first six weeks after the operation, but after that they can usually do anything they like.
Partner’s Role at the Birth
By this second stage of labor, your role in providing loving support for your partner will be well established. You’ve now passed through the most painful phase and have reached the climactic stage of delivery.
SECOND STAGE JOBS
You’ll need to continue doing many of the jobs you did during the first stage-making your partner comfortable, supporting her in different positions, providing drinks and food, and giving moral support. But you’ll also now have to encourage her to push. All this will make the mother’s job easier and help her feel emotionally secure and relaxed.
In the unlikely event of a medical emergency, staff have to move quickly and you might be in the way, so be sensitive to any situation that arises. You probably won’t be asked to leave the delivery room, but be prepared to do so if necessary.
Helping with the delivery position Now that your partner has been through the first stage of labor, she’ll probably know which position she finds most comfortable. Your support is very important to help her through the pushing stage, but always ask the midwife’s advice if you’re not certain what to do. If your partner doesn’t want to be held, suggest other positions that she might find comfortable, and place pillows or cushions under and behind her for support. It’s a good idea to practice different ways of sitting or squatting before labor so that you’re both familiar with them; if you feel unsure or uncomfortable about what you’re doing, it can make your partner nervous.
If your partner is happy sitting on the bed or on the floor, she might like to try the knee-chest position, which many women find comfortable in the second stage. For this, she should drop her chin onto her chest while holding on to her knees. Between contractions, suggest that she relax against the pillow to conserve her energy.
Helping her with breathing and pushing To help her through these last few contractions, tap out a rhythm for the different kinds of breathing, using words like: “breathe, breathe, pant, pant, blow.” As she’s pushing, gently remind her to relax her pelvic floor.
At the peak of contractions, suggest that she take two or three deep breaths and push as hard as she can. She should push in a strong and steady way, and you can remind her that each push brings the birth of your baby a little closer.
Encouraging her to relax Between contractions, help your partner to relax-she needs to save her strength for pushing her baby through the birth canal. Massage her back if she has a backache or needs comforting and reassuring. If she is hot and flustered, mop her brow with a cool washcloth or mist her face with a water spray.
Standing by Once your baby’s head has crowned, your role may become more passive for a while as you watch the doctor or midwife guiding your partner through this pushing stage. Don’t be disappointed if your partner hardly seems to notice you during the birth and relies more on the hospital staff. She’ll be fully preoccupied and involved with what’s happening.
Showing her the baby When your baby’s head is emerging, hold a mirror nearby so that your partner can see his head crowning and then his whole body slithering out. Help her to reach down and touch your baby’s head as he is born.
Loving reception Ask the doctor or midwife if you can catch your baby in your arms as his body emerges. After you’ve greeted your baby for the first time, place him on your partner’s stomach. You can then cuddle them both to help keep them warm and to let them know that you’re there.
You and your partner will have a range of reactions-relief, tears, awed silence, exhausted collapse, whoops of joy. You may even feel squeamish at the sight of his bloodied, greasy, tiny body. Whatever your feelings, they’re all perfectly understandable, and this moment marks a new phase in your family’s history.
Becoming a Dad
This article is for dads. Even though getting pregnant and having a baby is very much a joint venture for a couple, fathers usually take a back seat in books like this. I’d like to correct that bias. Your baby doesn’t have any notion about the difference between mothers and fathers. She just wants to be loved and cared for. Men can do these things just as well as women, and caring for your baby helps build your relationship with her for the future. That fact alone makes a powerful argument for parenting being equal and shared.
MAKING ROOM FOR FATHERS
Don’t worry-getting involved with parenting needn’t be a problem. With a little planning and a generous heart, both of you can enjoy sharing all the aspects of caring for your baby. After all, baby care means loving your baby, encouraging your baby, teaching your baby, watching your baby grow and develop, and establishing bonds with your baby that will probably be the strongest you ever make with anyone. Being a parent is perhaps the most important job any of us do. Who in their right mind would not want to be a part of all that?
As a father, try not to allow yourself to miss out on this unique relationship. And you’ll find that when you’re fully involved with your baby, a little miracle happens along the way: your relationship with your baby’s mother flourishes, too.
No one has trouble defining a mother’s role. Mothers care for children: they feed, comfort, dress, and bathe; they encourage, teach, carry, undress, put to bed, and maybe sing to sleep. We all know this because it’s what our mothers did for us when we were children. Defining a father’s role is more difficult, and many men are struggling to come to terms with what it means to be a modern father.
Finding a role model Much as you may love your own father, you may want your own relationship with your children to be different. Men today are encouraged to have a much more handsome approach to caring for their children, but few have a role model to show them what this actually means. What’s really needed is for fathers to be much more involved with the day-today business of child care-for them to be more like mothers.
Your baby doesn’t mind Babies and young children are happy to be cared for by their father or mother. What your baby needs is comfort, warmth, and security from her parents. Although she’ll soon learn to tell her mother and father apart, she’s not going to make value judgments based on what mothers and fathers ought to do. Apart from breastfeeding, there’s nothing a woman can do for a baby that can’t be done by a man.
The need for parenting Babies don’t need mothering and fathering, they need parenting. They need the most important adults in their lives to be models of what parents do for their children. When this happens, the next generation of fathers will not be at a loss to know what a father’s role should be. A child will only start to look to one parent rather than the other for her needs if this is what she learns she should do from her experiences. If you, as a father, never change her diaper, hold her when she cries, or play and laugh with her, of course she’ll relate more to the parent who does do all those things.
YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT HAVING A FAMILY
However much you long for a family, the decision to go ahead and have a child needs the same reasoned, clear-eyed evaluation you’d give to any other major change in your life, such as buying a house or a new car. It helps to be open with one another about your feelings and to put into words some of the thoughts and questions that may be lurking in the back of your mind. Even if you think you both really want a baby because you love each other and it seems like the natural thing to do, it’s still a good idea to talk about all the issues involved. Have you thought about how a baby will affect your way of life? Does having a child seem like the right thing for you as a couple, or are you just reacting to pressure from others, such as the potential grandparents? Do you both have the same desire for a baby?
A NEW KIND OF PARENTING
Family life has changed in recent years, and people have different expectations. A father used to be a protector, out at work all day and with little direct involvement in the care of children. Now, fathers and mothers are equal partners at home. Both may be working, full- or part-time, and sharing the financial responsibilities and the juggling of caring for home and family. Some couples may decide they don’t want to use any form of child care and so one of them takes a career break to stay at home. In an increasing number of couples, it’s the father who opts to be the caregiver while his wife earns the money, overturning traditional patterns of family life. One reason why such families are often strong and successful units is because they make their plans carefully and take account of both partners’ talents. But whatever practical arrangements you make, providing a stable, loving, and open environment in which to bring up children is what matters the most.
Walking – It’s All in Your Technique
Sure, you’ve been walking since you were a toddler. But you’re never too old to fine-tune your technique. The following tips will help keep your constitutionals pleasurable, healthful, and injury-free.
Do it, but don’t overdo it. Walk at a pace that feels comfortable. Don’t dawdle, but don’t become winded. Fenton recommends checking your intensity with what he calls the talk test. “You should be able to talk comfortably while walking,” he says. “If you find yourself gasping for air when you talk, you’re pushing yourself too hard.”
Warm up beforehand. Why warm up? First, it makes walking easier by increasing the flow of oxygen-rich blood to your muscles. The extra oxygen enables your muscles to produce energy when you need it. Second, it stretches the muscles, tendons, and ligaments, preparing them for the upcoming workout and reducing your risk of injury. Third, it allows you to shift emotional gears so that you’re in the right frame of mind to enjoy walking.
Pay attention to posture. The American Physical Therapy Association offers the
following pointers for good walking posture: Stand up straight and look forward, not down. Keep your head erect, your chin pulled in toward your neck, your back straight, and your stomach and buttocks tucked in. Don’t lean forward, except when walking uphill. Leaning increases the risk of back strain.
Set the right stride. Walk heel to toe, letting your feet gently roll forward through each step. This allows you to develop a comfortable, flowing, rhythmic stride.
Bend your elbows. As you walk, swing your arms, keeping your elbows bent at 90degree angles and close to your trunk. Avoid straight-arm striding, which slows you down and makes your fingers swell uncomfortably. And don’t thrust your elbows out to your sides, like chicken wings. This disrupts your rhythm and causes upper-body discomfort.
Keep your hands free. With your arms swinging unencumbered, you can stride more comfortably for a longer period of time without feeling winded. “If you need to carry anything, use a backpack,” Fenton advises. “Carrying things in your hands is tiring and interferes with the natural rhythm of walking.”
Expect to feel good. A good walking workout will leave you with a combination of fatigue, invigoration, and mood elevation. The fatigue should pass within an hour, but the invigoration and mood elevation will last much longer. And as your physical condition improves, you’ll feel less fatigue and a greater sense of well-being after each workout.
The First Stage
The months of preparing for your baby’s birth have now reached their climax as labor begins. In medical terms, the first stage starts when your contractions bring about the opening (dilation) and thinning (effacement) of the cervix and ends when these are complete. At this point your midwife will confirm that you are fully dilated.
WHAT HAPPENS IN LABOR
It’s difficult to be sure about the onset of labor because it differs from woman to woman. Certain classic signs-intense contractions, dilation and thinning of the cervix, and rupturing of the membranes-are taken to mean that labor is underway.
Contractions When true labor starts, the nature of your contractions changes. They become more rhythmic and more painful, and they come at regular intervals. These contractions are not within your control and, once they have begun, won’t stop until your baby is born.
You can time your contractions from the start of one contraction to the start of the next. In early labor, contractions are usually about 30-60 seconds long and come at intervals of about five to 20 minutes. This can vary; some women may not notice their first contractions until they are closer together-say, every five minutes. During the active phase, contractions usually last 60-90 seconds, at intervals of two to four minutes.
As your uterine muscles tighten, you may feel something like menstrual cramps, spreading around your lower abdomen like a tight band. This is because the uterine muscle runs short of oxygen as its blood vessels are compressed. The uterus is a huge muscle and needs a lot of energy during contractions.
Every woman feels contraction pains differently, but in early labor they may be similar to menstrual cramps or a mild backache. Some women experience a persistent and severe backache. Very often a contraction feels like a wave of discomfort all the way across your abdomen that reaches a peak for a few seconds and then diminishes. At the same time, you can feel a hardening and tightening of the uterine muscle, which is held at the peak of its intensity for a few seconds before the muscle begins to relax.
Women assume that contractions will get steadily longer, more frequent, and stronger. This is not so; don’t be disturbed if your contractions seem to vary. It’s as normal for a strong contraction to be followed by a weaker one that doesn’t last quite as long, as it is for contractions to follow one another relentlessly.
Your cervix dilates and thins The cervix is usually a thick-walled canal about three-fourths of an inch (two entimeters) long, and firmly closed. In the last few weeks, pregnancy hormones may soften your cervix, but the intense contractions of first-stage labor are needed to dilate and thin it. Dilation is measured in centimeters from 0-10 (up to four inches). Your cervix will only dilate about four centimeters (or one-and-a-half inches) during the latent phase, then progress to 10 centimeters (four inches) in the active phase. The pain increases as it becomes fully dilated during transition. Eventually, the whole cervix opens up and is made one with the body of the uterus, creating a continuous channel that your baby can pass through.
Your water breaks The membranes of the amniotic sac may rupture painlessly at any time during labor, although this usually happens toward the end of the first stage. Fluid may leak or gush out; the flow depends on the size and site of the break and whether or not the baby’s head is plugging the hole.
Usually, if the membranes rupture spontaneously near term, labor follows within a short time, although occasionally it’s delayed-if your baby’s presenting part is not engaged, or if your baby is presenting abnormally. Delay also occurs in normal cases. When this happens, you’ll be advised to have labor induced.
HOW LONG DOES LABOR LAST?
Labor times vary greatly, but an average labor lasts about 12-14 hours for first-time mothers, and about seven hours for subsequent labors. If your labor lasts longer than 12 hours the first time, or nine hours in subsequent labors, your doctor
will want to find out why progress is slow, and may intervene.
The first stage of labor can be further divided into three separate phases. The latent phase is the longest, lasting about eight hours for first babies, and you’ll feel contractions coming with increasing frequency and length, but they won’t be too distressing. Try to conserve your energy during this time as your body will be warming up for the more demanding phases to follow. The next, active phase, will be shorter, lasting about three to five hours, but this is when your contractions become more painful, and you may want some pain relief. The final, transitional phase, is the shortest and most intense of all, usually lasting just under an hour, and comes right before the delivery.
Transition
This is the most intense phase of the first stage. Your Contractions will now last about 60-90 seconds, with intervals of only 30-90 seconds. As the contractions become more forceful, you may find it hard to relax and this is the time you may feel the most discomfort. You may also feel a very strong urge to push, but should not do so unless you’re fully dilated. The intense pain may make you feel extremely irritable, even bad-tempered with your birth partner. This is natural. Don’t think you’re failing if you fear you lack the energy to go on any more; you’ll find hidden resources of energy to help you cope. Remind yourself that this phase means your baby’s birth is now just minutes away.
Partner’s Role in Labor
The more secure and relaxed a mother feels during labor; the better she’ll be able to cope with pain. Her partner is the natural person to give this loving support, since he’ll have been closely involved in the pregnancy, and eager to share his child’s birth. Otherwise, ask a friend who’s had children herself to be your birth coach. Most hospitals welcome fathers, friends, or relatives to support the mother.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE
It’s normal to feel nervous about being a birth partner, so the best thing to do is prepare yourself. Find out as much as you can so you’re able to help the mother meet the physical and emotional demands of labor. At prenatal classes there’ll be demonstrations to describe labor’s onset and the effect of contractions, and you’ll be taught techniques to help her relax.
Visit the birthing center or the hospital’s labor and delivery rooms and introduce yourself to the staff. Make sure you know the route to the hospital in case of an emergency, and find out all you’ll need to do; trust will create a calmer atmosphere.
HOW TO HELP DURING LABOR
You may have a very active role throughout the labor and birth, but sometimes your presence is all the mother needs. Make sure you’re very familiar with her birth plan and the alternative version and that you know all her wishes.
Use your intuition Judge the situation by observing your partner’s moods. She may want to stay quiet, going through contractions alone without being touched. Or she may needs lots of encouragement or distractions.
Provide emotional support Remain as close and intimate as you can, using loving words, and keep your movements slow, quiet, and steady. Be positive: praise her and don’t criticize. If she wants to hear your voice, constantly tell her how well she’s doing (how far dilated) and how she can relax herself. Tell her what the midwife is doing and what will soon happen. Also, help her to see how much she’s achieved already-it’s easy for her to be overwhelmed by how far she thinks she has to go. Massage and stroke her slowly, but if she just wants to hold your hand, you can encourage her by the expression on your face and lots of eye contact. Sometimes just the look of love in her partner’s eyes can help a woman bear the pain of contractions.
Combat tiredness Before labor, encourage her to rest as much as possible, particularly if she seems to want to rush around cleaning during the nesting period. If her labor is long and tiring, try to help her relax between contractions and save her energy for the second stage. If she’s not feeling nauseous, provide her with any drinks or nourishment she wants.
Help her cope with pain It’s hard to see someone you care about in pain, but try not to show your anxiety-it could make her feel more worried. On the other hand, don’t dismiss her suffering. Acknowledge it positively, telling her each contraction is bringing your baby’s birth closer, and make different suggestions for relief. Help her not to be embarrassed about saying what hurtsencourage her to be as uninhibited as possible. A woman in labor should never be ashamed of needing pain relief.
If she feels particularly anxious during a contraction, it might calm her fears to talk about how she felt before the next one starts. Don’t take it personally if she’s critical or aggressive toward you-this often happens when the pain is very intense.
Help with breathing You’ll probably have practiced your partner’s preferred method in prenatal classes, but let her follow her own rhythm. If she seems to lose control, stay nearby and slowly guide her through the pattern until she’s able to continue on her own. Be ready to adapt-very few people follow exactly what they practiced at prenatal classes.
Make her comfortable You can be a great help here. Suggest different positions and support her with pillows or blankets, or let her lean against you while you cuddle, and rock together. Look for signs of tension in her neck, shoulders, or forehead, and gently stroke these areas. Massage may give some relief from pain. If she’s using visualization techniques, gently talk her through them. She’ll probably find having her face and hands wiped very soothing, or you can offer her ice cubes to suck. If she feels cold, help her put on socks or leg warmers. As labor progresses, she may want to talk less, but you can keep in touch by touching or caressing, or by using eye contact.
Parenting Class
Today life is full of hustle and bustle and parents hardly have any time for their children. The problem arises when you are not able to interact with your child due to your lifestyle as you are juggling between your work and house.
To overcome this problem parents need to enroll themselves to parenting class as this is one such place where you meet regularly and share different tips and experiences as well as get advice from other parents which help you to put in practice these simple but practical advices in your house thus fostering a strong bond with your child.
One of the best things that this parenting class teaches you is that they have hundreds of option and you can find one that suits you and your way of raising your child. They teach you to display love and care lavishly on your child all through his growing up period so that this bond becomes stronger with the passing of years.
Parenting class also has a session on educating parents as it is crucial for parents to share information and concern over the raising issues of child behavior and other child raising patterns. This education session helps parents to understand the behavioral disorder in their child, handling such situation and overcoming them with the help of psychologist especially during the teenage growing period.
Parenting education teaches you how to handle a new born as this new born will need more of your time, affection, love and care. This helps you to develop more confidence so that you can take care of all your babies needs. These classes are helpful to all parents regardless of which age your child falls into as each child growing phase has its own set of problems and all these are learnt on trail and error bases.
Parenting class is held almost all through the year and is offered by hospitals, temples, churches, government organization and some charitable institutions. You can also find more about the parenting class in your local newspapers and community centers. Parenting class teaches you how to manage your time at your work place as well as at home so that you are able to interact and understand your child better. The parenting classes don’t charge you any fees but then there are some which have nominal charges, but then it has been found that these classes are worth as they have a huge source of knowledge and experience to share out with you.
Parenting class teach you to develop positive attitude when it comes to understanding your child and his or her need and that due to this positive thinking you will certainly have a closer relationship with your child and this bond will strengthen as the time goes by.
Enrolling into parenting class is the best way to learn to give your love to your child and understanding your child’s need better without becoming strict parents or overindulgent parents as both have its own set of draw backs.