Making love
Keep on making love as late into pregnancy as you wish, as long as there are no medical reasons for abstaining. Your baby is safe in your uterus. He’s not harmed by normal sexual activity, and probably enjoys sex as much as you do as your hormones reach him via the placenta.
In the early months, use any lovemaking position you like, but as your abdomen gets bigger, you may find some positions uncomfortable. After about 24 weeks, it’s best to avoid lying on your back for any length of time, so don’t use the missionary position, with your partner on top-there are lots of other exciting options. These may also be the best choices when you first start making love again after the birth.
WOMAN-ON-TOP POSITIONS
You may find these the most comfortable from the second trimester onward. As your abdomen grows, you can lift yourself farther off his stomach by supporting yourself on your bent legs. This also prevents too much pressure on your abdomen and breasts. In these positions, too, it’s easier for you to control the depth of penetration and the speed and rhythm of lovemaking.
These positions allow a great deal of intimacy. You and your partner have your hands free to caress and stroke each other and he can easily reach your breasts with his mouth. Alternatively, you can brush his chest with your breasts to stimulate him further.
KNEELING AND SIDE-BY-SIDE POSITIONS
Many of these involve entering from behind, and are useful in pregnancy, particularly if you don’t feel comfortable on your back, or you don’t want to take too active a part in lovemaking.
Kneeling positions allow your partner freedom of movement and let him vary the amount of penetration. Side-by-side positions are comfortable and permit plenty of kissing and caressing. The “spoons” position, so called because the partners nestle together like a pair of spoons, is also good to try if you feel any soreness or discomfort when you start making love again after you’ve given birth, especially if you’ve had an episiotomy.
SITTING POSITIONS
These are good in the middle and late months. They don’t allow a lot of movement but are comfortable for both partners and ease pressure on the abdomen. Also, the depth of penetration can be controlled. Your partner sits on a sturdy, comfortable chair or the edge of the bed and you sit on his lap, either facing him (if your abdomen is not too big), facing to one side, or facing away.
Your partner can use his hands to caress your body and breasts and to stimulate your clitoris. His range of movement is limited, so you control the sexual tempo.
Baby Shower Games: Most Innovative Way of Pregnancy Celebration
Pregnancy is the stage in the life of women when they indulge in the various baby shower games. In fact, this is the best way which provides the expected parents the opportunity to interact with their far away family members. This is the only occasion when all the people talk about the expecting parents rather than talking about some other stuff. In fact at such baby shower games all the guests get their chance to interact with the expecting parents.
There are large numbers of games that can be used as baby shower games. These games are mentioned below:
Word scramble: This is one of the easiest games. In this game, each of the participating team is given a page of jumbled words. The team that finds all the correct words from them wins the game.
Race for the shoes: This is one of the funniest games. This game is basically meant for men. In this game men are asked to wear heavy clothes and then they are required to tie and untie their shoes. Those who do this in the minimum time win the game. This game is of great amusement for the expecting mother.
Diaper smell: This is also a funny game. Under this game, few diapers are fitted with certain household items and all of them are marked then. The team that makes the right guess about a particular item then that team is given some gift item. This game appears funny only while viewing it.
Baby charades: This game is one of the oldest games. In this game the participants are provided with the sentences that a new born baby will tell their parents in the future once they start talking. The teams have to express those sentences then to their team partners. Those who get maximum points after the end of the game are provided with the prizes.
Mother Guess: There is flexibility while playing this game. This game can be played in groups and as well as individually. In this game, people are given the description of the characters that are there in the nursery rhymes and people have to guess those characters.
Mother What: This is not an easy game at all. In this game, names of all the mothers at that place are listed on cards. These cards are then pasted on the back of the participants. The participants then have to guess the correct names.
Purse scavenger hunt: In this game, two groups are made-one who are new mothers and other with old mothers. Then all the participants are asked to make the list of items that a new born mother would have in their purse. The participant that gives most right items is considered as the winner.
Heavy purse roulette: This game is best suited for those mothers who have some experience in motherhood. In this game, purses of all the participants are weighed. The mother with the heaviest purse is considered the winner.
The Second Stage: Delivery
Delivery is the main event: it’s what you’ve been getting ready for over the last nine months. Your expectations are realistica manageable labor, not necessarily painless but happy and relaxed, with your chosen birth partner and staff you know around you in familiar surroundings. One of the key factors in your feeling happy and relaxed is that everyone around you is a familiar friend.
CONTRACTIONS AND PUSHING
The second stage is the expulsion stage-you push your baby out. It lasts from the time your cervix is fully dilated until your baby is born and, for a first baby, generally takes less than two hours. The average second stage lasts about one hour, and it may be as little as 15-20 minutes for subsequent babies. At this time contractions are 60-90 seconds long and come at two- to four minute intervals.
You’ll almost certainly feel the urge to push, known as bearing down. The urge is caused by your baby’s head pressing down on your pelvic floor and rectum, and is quite involuntary. Keep your pushing as smooth and continuous as you can; make the muscular effort smooth and slow so that your vaginal and perineal tissues and muscles have enough time to stretch and will be able to accommodate your baby’s head.
The most efficient position to be in when you’re pushing is upright, whether you sit on a birthing stool, stand with your arms around your partner’s neck, or squat. This means that the downward muscular force of your body and the downward force of gravity are working together to push your baby out.
If you’re lying on your back, even if you’re supported by pillows, you’re pushing your baby out uphill against the force of gravity.
This is much harder work, and so delivery is slower.
As you push, it helps if your pelvic floor and anal area are fully relaxed, so make a conscious effort to let go of this part of your body. Don’t be embarrassed if you urinate or lose a little stoollots of women do and your attendants have seen it all before. When you’ve finished a push, take two slow, deep breaths, but don’t relax too quickly at the end of a contraction. Your baby will continue to maintain her forward progress if you relax slowly. If doctors think that your second stage is going on too long, they might suggest using forceps to assist the delivery of your baby.
Choosing a Name
FAMILY TRADITIONS
Names that have been passed down through a family from generation to generation were at one time the automatic choice for many parents, especially for a first-born. If the traditional name was masculine, it was sometimes feminized for a girl (Thomas, Thomasina), especially if there was no male heir. These customs have lapsed in recent times, leading to many traditional family names being dropped, although they are sometimes used as a child’s middle name.
Some families, particularly among the aristocracy in Scotland, and in the American South, used the mother’s maiden name as the first-born son’s given name. This appears to be dying out, although the maiden name is still given as a middle name. Because of this custom, surnames such as Russell, Howard, and Cameron have become normal as first names, particularly for boys. Couples who are not married or in which the woman prefers to keep her maiden name sometimes like to give the mother’s surname as the child’s middle name.
Many parents choose names for their children that work together, although few go as far as the Victorians (see column, right). Some parents like all their children’s names to start with the same initial, although this can cause confusion with letters and official documents.
NATIONALITY
Many parents choose names that reflect where they come from, even though they no longer live there. This can lead to problems of spelling and pronunciation, so the spelling may be simplified from Gaelic to English, for example (Sile-Sheila; Aodan-Aidan). In other cases, first names. that are perceived as being “national” may not be used in their country of origin. Colleen, for example, comes from the Celtic caitlin, meaning “girl” or “wench,” and is popular for girls of Irish origin in North America and Australia, even though it’s not used as a given name in Ireland.
MEANINGS The meaning or origin of a name tends to be less important than its associations for most modern Western parents. Many Western first names have had a more convoluted history than those of other cultures. This is because these names, along with other traditions and customs, have been transferred from one society to another, often by invasion followed by integration, migration, or contact between different cultures. For this reason, many names have become divorced from their original meanings, but some Western parents do still choose names primarily because of what they mean.
Fathers At the Birth
When the due date is near; make sure your partner can always get in touch with you easily. If you have a cell phone, keep it switched on. Your support during the labor and birth will be a huge comfort to your partner; and you have a practical role, too. Trust your intuition and judgment as to what’s needed and ask for feedback.
DURING LABOR
Your partner will need you with her once labor starts. You may feel that the medical staff have everything under control and there’s not a lot you can do, but there is, and it’s important for you to be there and to be loving and intimate with your partner. However you’re feeling yourself, try to be slow and gentle, quiet and reassuring. Don’t try to do too much and get in the way of the medical staff or become an irritation to your partner; always give her space when she wants it. Be positive and don’t criticize her; she needs plenty of praise, encouragement, and sympathy to keep her going.
Practical help There are lots of things you can do to help your partner cope with the discomfort and the pain of giving birth. Offer practical help such getting her a warm hot-water bottle if she’s got a backache, refreshing her with sprays of water or a cool washcloth if she’s too hot, and giving her sips of water if her mouth is dry. If she wants to go without pain relief, encourage her while it seems reasonable, but if she asks for it, don’t try to talk her out of it. She’s the one who’s in pain. You’ll certainly have talked about it beforehand as part of your planning, and she may at that time have been quite adamant that she didn’t want pain relief. But if she changes her mind in labor, don’t argue with her; nobody can possibly know how they’re going to feel when giving birth until it actually happens.
Seeking explanations Talk to the doctor or midwife if you don’t understand what’s happening, or if you’re worried. They’re there to help both of you, and they are professionals who have your partner’s and your baby’s best interests at heart. At the same time, don’t let the hospital staff and their machines become the focus of your attention. Your job is to support your partner.
Your partner’s moods Keep your sense of humor; if your partner shouts-or swears-at you, or seems to get angry or overwrought, take it in stride. It’s her way of coping with a very stressful situation and quite often happens, particularly at the transition phase of the first stage of labor. Treat it as a positive step toward the birth-it’s a sign that the second stage of labor isn’t far off.
MEETING YOUR BABY
This is the moment you’ve waited nine months for, the moment, when you can take your baby in your arms together for the first time. Everything you’ve just gone through will feel worthwhile. Your doctor will probably lay the baby on your partner’s tummy or give him to one of you to hold while the cord is clamped and cut; take your shirt off so your baby can feel and smell your skin. Hold him close to your face and let him look up into yours. Share this moment and savor it; this is a meeting that will change both your lives forever. It’s also the moment when you claim your new status as parents. You’ll never forget this experience. It’s so emotional that you’ll probably both find yourselves weeping with joy and relief.
AFTER THE BIRTH
After the birth, you may feel as emotionally exhausted as your partner, but don’t forget how physically exhausting labor and birth is for a woman. Because your partner is so tired, she may not appear to experience quite the same emotions as you.
Your partner’s reactions You’ll probably feel a wave of euphoria now that your baby is born, but, particularly if labor has been long and arduous, your partner may be just too tired to enjoy this same “buzz” immediately. It doesn’t mean she isn’t as excited and delighted as you are, but after a lengthy labor, it’s not surprising if she finds it difficult to express her enthusiasm right away. Just hold her close and let her know how proud you are of her and of your new son or daughter. Stay with them both for as long as possible after the birth, and help get them settled into the postnatal ward.
Valuing your role Be ready to congratulate your partner on her achievement, and let her know how much you appreciate her. But although all your thoughts will be with her, don’t belittle your own contribution and the support you’ve been able to give. You may think you haven’t really been much help-this is a common feeling for fathers who’ve seen their partners struggling through labor, particularly if it was a long one. Most mothers, though, say just how important it was to have the emotional support and encouragement from their partner throughout labor and at the baby’s birth.
Saying hello Take the chance to hold your baby while your partner is being stitched, or checked. Go to a quiet corner of the room and get to know the new member of your family. Let her look into your eyes and hold her close, just 8-10 in (20-25 cm) from your face. She’ll be able to see you and smell you, and she’ll learn to recognize you from the very beginning. Remember, too, that sight is not her only way of experiencing this new world, and that the sense of touch is very important to babies. Take your shirt off and hold her against your skin or gently stroke her-both are strong ways of bonding with your new baby.
Ears
Ear infections are common in children because their eustachian tubes are narrow and horizontal; this makes drainage poor and the tubes are easily blocked, leading to middle ear infections.
Waxy Ear
Ear wax is produced by glands in the outer ear canal and protects the ear from dust, foreign bodies, and infection. If wax accumulates and hardens, it can result in hearing loss. Although it’s not usually serious, you should consult your child’s doctor.
Symptoms
Ear wax can become hard and compacted and cause impaired hearing, a ringing sound in the head, or a sensation of fullness in the outer ear. It may be possible to see the buildup of wax.
Treatment Ear drops may be effective. Drops are more likely to be used if the wax has formed a hard plug, as they will soften it, allowing it to come out overnight on soft cotton wool placed at the opening of the canal. You should never try to insert anything into your child’s ear to try to clear wax, not even a fingernail or a cotton bud. They will only push the wax further into the canal or damage the lining of the ear.
Outer Ear Infection
The passage leading to the eardrum from the ear flap can sometimes become infected as a result of excessive cleaning or scratching, the presence of a foreign body in the ear, or after swimming. This can be painful, but is not usually serious.
Symptoms Your child will complain of earache and her ear and outer ear passage may be red and tender. You may notice a puslike discharge from the ear, and a dry scaly appearance. A boil within the ear canal can also cause great pain.
Treatment Home treatment includes keeping the ear clean, giving acetominophen elixir to relieve pain and keep the temperature down, and covering the ear with a cotton pad. Your doctor may prescribe antibiotics or ear drops. Any foreign body or boil in the ear must be dealt with by a doctor.
Middle Ear Infection
Otitis media, or infection of the middle ear, is quite common in children. Until about age six, some children develop such infections with every cold or sniffle. Infections are caused by bacteria entering the middle ear from the nose and the throat via the eustachian tube. Untreated infections can result in permanent hearing loss. Recurrent middle ear infections are often linked with glue ear.
Symptoms The most prominent symptoms are severe earache and loss of appetite. Your child may also have a fever or a discharge from the ear, and there may be some hearing loss. A baby with a middle ear infection may be distressed and pull and rub her ear. She may also have general symptoms such as loss of appetite, vomiting, and diarrhea.
Treatment The usual treatment is antibiotics and pain-relieving medication. At home, keep your children comfortable and cool and give lots of drinks as ,well as her medicines. The child should avoid getting water in the ear until the infection has cleared. Unless she feels very unwell, she can go to school:
ear infections are not contagious.
Glue Ear
If Your child has repeated infections of the middle ear, the middle ear can gradually fill with jelly-like fluid. As the fluid cannot drain away through the eustachian tube, it becomes sticky and impairs hearing because the sounds are not being effectively transmitted across the middle ear to the inner ear, where they are actually heard. It’s important to deal with glue ear promptly, especially when your child is learning to speak.
Symptoms Glue ear generally causes no pain, but partial hearing loss and a feeling of fullness deep in the ear may occur. A child with chronic glue ear may sleep with the mouth open, snore when asleep, and speak with a nasal twang. If glue ear is not treated it can cause permanent deafness, resulting in speech and learning problems.
Treatment The fluid may drain away if left for a few weeks. Your doctor may prescribe decongestants to help drainage. If the fluid does not clear, surgery may be recommended; in this operation, a tiny hole is made in the eardrum and the fluid is sucked out. Then a tympanostomy tube may be inserted; this tiny plastic tube allows air to circulate in the middle ear. Any fluid that forms can drain away through the tympanostomy tube and flow down the eustachian tube.
The tympanostomy tube usually falls out after a few months and the eardrum heals. Occasionally the tube has to be inserted again if the fluid reaccumulates. Doctors usually advise that children avoid getting their ears wet for the first six weeks after the operation, but after that they can usually do anything they like.
Partner’s Role at the Birth
By this second stage of labor, your role in providing loving support for your partner will be well established. You’ve now passed through the most painful phase and have reached the climactic stage of delivery.
SECOND STAGE JOBS
You’ll need to continue doing many of the jobs you did during the first stage-making your partner comfortable, supporting her in different positions, providing drinks and food, and giving moral support. But you’ll also now have to encourage her to push. All this will make the mother’s job easier and help her feel emotionally secure and relaxed.
In the unlikely event of a medical emergency, staff have to move quickly and you might be in the way, so be sensitive to any situation that arises. You probably won’t be asked to leave the delivery room, but be prepared to do so if necessary.
Helping with the delivery position Now that your partner has been through the first stage of labor, she’ll probably know which position she finds most comfortable. Your support is very important to help her through the pushing stage, but always ask the midwife’s advice if you’re not certain what to do. If your partner doesn’t want to be held, suggest other positions that she might find comfortable, and place pillows or cushions under and behind her for support. It’s a good idea to practice different ways of sitting or squatting before labor so that you’re both familiar with them; if you feel unsure or uncomfortable about what you’re doing, it can make your partner nervous.
If your partner is happy sitting on the bed or on the floor, she might like to try the knee-chest position, which many women find comfortable in the second stage. For this, she should drop her chin onto her chest while holding on to her knees. Between contractions, suggest that she relax against the pillow to conserve her energy.
Helping her with breathing and pushing To help her through these last few contractions, tap out a rhythm for the different kinds of breathing, using words like: “breathe, breathe, pant, pant, blow.” As she’s pushing, gently remind her to relax her pelvic floor.
At the peak of contractions, suggest that she take two or three deep breaths and push as hard as she can. She should push in a strong and steady way, and you can remind her that each push brings the birth of your baby a little closer.
Encouraging her to relax Between contractions, help your partner to relax-she needs to save her strength for pushing her baby through the birth canal. Massage her back if she has a backache or needs comforting and reassuring. If she is hot and flustered, mop her brow with a cool washcloth or mist her face with a water spray.
Standing by Once your baby’s head has crowned, your role may become more passive for a while as you watch the doctor or midwife guiding your partner through this pushing stage. Don’t be disappointed if your partner hardly seems to notice you during the birth and relies more on the hospital staff. She’ll be fully preoccupied and involved with what’s happening.
Showing her the baby When your baby’s head is emerging, hold a mirror nearby so that your partner can see his head crowning and then his whole body slithering out. Help her to reach down and touch your baby’s head as he is born.
Loving reception Ask the doctor or midwife if you can catch your baby in your arms as his body emerges. After you’ve greeted your baby for the first time, place him on your partner’s stomach. You can then cuddle them both to help keep them warm and to let them know that you’re there.
You and your partner will have a range of reactions-relief, tears, awed silence, exhausted collapse, whoops of joy. You may even feel squeamish at the sight of his bloodied, greasy, tiny body. Whatever your feelings, they’re all perfectly understandable, and this moment marks a new phase in your family’s history.
Becoming a Dad
This article is for dads. Even though getting pregnant and having a baby is very much a joint venture for a couple, fathers usually take a back seat in books like this. I’d like to correct that bias. Your baby doesn’t have any notion about the difference between mothers and fathers. She just wants to be loved and cared for. Men can do these things just as well as women, and caring for your baby helps build your relationship with her for the future. That fact alone makes a powerful argument for parenting being equal and shared.
MAKING ROOM FOR FATHERS
Don’t worry-getting involved with parenting needn’t be a problem. With a little planning and a generous heart, both of you can enjoy sharing all the aspects of caring for your baby. After all, baby care means loving your baby, encouraging your baby, teaching your baby, watching your baby grow and develop, and establishing bonds with your baby that will probably be the strongest you ever make with anyone. Being a parent is perhaps the most important job any of us do. Who in their right mind would not want to be a part of all that?
As a father, try not to allow yourself to miss out on this unique relationship. And you’ll find that when you’re fully involved with your baby, a little miracle happens along the way: your relationship with your baby’s mother flourishes, too.
No one has trouble defining a mother’s role. Mothers care for children: they feed, comfort, dress, and bathe; they encourage, teach, carry, undress, put to bed, and maybe sing to sleep. We all know this because it’s what our mothers did for us when we were children. Defining a father’s role is more difficult, and many men are struggling to come to terms with what it means to be a modern father.
Finding a role model Much as you may love your own father, you may want your own relationship with your children to be different. Men today are encouraged to have a much more handsome approach to caring for their children, but few have a role model to show them what this actually means. What’s really needed is for fathers to be much more involved with the day-today business of child care-for them to be more like mothers.
Your baby doesn’t mind Babies and young children are happy to be cared for by their father or mother. What your baby needs is comfort, warmth, and security from her parents. Although she’ll soon learn to tell her mother and father apart, she’s not going to make value judgments based on what mothers and fathers ought to do. Apart from breastfeeding, there’s nothing a woman can do for a baby that can’t be done by a man.
The need for parenting Babies don’t need mothering and fathering, they need parenting. They need the most important adults in their lives to be models of what parents do for their children. When this happens, the next generation of fathers will not be at a loss to know what a father’s role should be. A child will only start to look to one parent rather than the other for her needs if this is what she learns she should do from her experiences. If you, as a father, never change her diaper, hold her when she cries, or play and laugh with her, of course she’ll relate more to the parent who does do all those things.
YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT HAVING A FAMILY
However much you long for a family, the decision to go ahead and have a child needs the same reasoned, clear-eyed evaluation you’d give to any other major change in your life, such as buying a house or a new car. It helps to be open with one another about your feelings and to put into words some of the thoughts and questions that may be lurking in the back of your mind. Even if you think you both really want a baby because you love each other and it seems like the natural thing to do, it’s still a good idea to talk about all the issues involved. Have you thought about how a baby will affect your way of life? Does having a child seem like the right thing for you as a couple, or are you just reacting to pressure from others, such as the potential grandparents? Do you both have the same desire for a baby?
A NEW KIND OF PARENTING
Family life has changed in recent years, and people have different expectations. A father used to be a protector, out at work all day and with little direct involvement in the care of children. Now, fathers and mothers are equal partners at home. Both may be working, full- or part-time, and sharing the financial responsibilities and the juggling of caring for home and family. Some couples may decide they don’t want to use any form of child care and so one of them takes a career break to stay at home. In an increasing number of couples, it’s the father who opts to be the caregiver while his wife earns the money, overturning traditional patterns of family life. One reason why such families are often strong and successful units is because they make their plans carefully and take account of both partners’ talents. But whatever practical arrangements you make, providing a stable, loving, and open environment in which to bring up children is what matters the most.
Walking – It’s All in Your Technique
Sure, you’ve been walking since you were a toddler. But you’re never too old to fine-tune your technique. The following tips will help keep your constitutionals pleasurable, healthful, and injury-free.
Do it, but don’t overdo it. Walk at a pace that feels comfortable. Don’t dawdle, but don’t become winded. Fenton recommends checking your intensity with what he calls the talk test. “You should be able to talk comfortably while walking,” he says. “If you find yourself gasping for air when you talk, you’re pushing yourself too hard.”
Warm up beforehand. Why warm up? First, it makes walking easier by increasing the flow of oxygen-rich blood to your muscles. The extra oxygen enables your muscles to produce energy when you need it. Second, it stretches the muscles, tendons, and ligaments, preparing them for the upcoming workout and reducing your risk of injury. Third, it allows you to shift emotional gears so that you’re in the right frame of mind to enjoy walking.
Pay attention to posture. The American Physical Therapy Association offers the
following pointers for good walking posture: Stand up straight and look forward, not down. Keep your head erect, your chin pulled in toward your neck, your back straight, and your stomach and buttocks tucked in. Don’t lean forward, except when walking uphill. Leaning increases the risk of back strain.
Set the right stride. Walk heel to toe, letting your feet gently roll forward through each step. This allows you to develop a comfortable, flowing, rhythmic stride.
Bend your elbows. As you walk, swing your arms, keeping your elbows bent at 90degree angles and close to your trunk. Avoid straight-arm striding, which slows you down and makes your fingers swell uncomfortably. And don’t thrust your elbows out to your sides, like chicken wings. This disrupts your rhythm and causes upper-body discomfort.
Keep your hands free. With your arms swinging unencumbered, you can stride more comfortably for a longer period of time without feeling winded. “If you need to carry anything, use a backpack,” Fenton advises. “Carrying things in your hands is tiring and interferes with the natural rhythm of walking.”
Expect to feel good. A good walking workout will leave you with a combination of fatigue, invigoration, and mood elevation. The fatigue should pass within an hour, but the invigoration and mood elevation will last much longer. And as your physical condition improves, you’ll feel less fatigue and a greater sense of well-being after each workout.
The First Stage
The months of preparing for your baby’s birth have now reached their climax as labor begins. In medical terms, the first stage starts when your contractions bring about the opening (dilation) and thinning (effacement) of the cervix and ends when these are complete. At this point your midwife will confirm that you are fully dilated.
WHAT HAPPENS IN LABOR
It’s difficult to be sure about the onset of labor because it differs from woman to woman. Certain classic signs-intense contractions, dilation and thinning of the cervix, and rupturing of the membranes-are taken to mean that labor is underway.
Contractions When true labor starts, the nature of your contractions changes. They become more rhythmic and more painful, and they come at regular intervals. These contractions are not within your control and, once they have begun, won’t stop until your baby is born.
You can time your contractions from the start of one contraction to the start of the next. In early labor, contractions are usually about 30-60 seconds long and come at intervals of about five to 20 minutes. This can vary; some women may not notice their first contractions until they are closer together-say, every five minutes. During the active phase, contractions usually last 60-90 seconds, at intervals of two to four minutes.
As your uterine muscles tighten, you may feel something like menstrual cramps, spreading around your lower abdomen like a tight band. This is because the uterine muscle runs short of oxygen as its blood vessels are compressed. The uterus is a huge muscle and needs a lot of energy during contractions.
Every woman feels contraction pains differently, but in early labor they may be similar to menstrual cramps or a mild backache. Some women experience a persistent and severe backache. Very often a contraction feels like a wave of discomfort all the way across your abdomen that reaches a peak for a few seconds and then diminishes. At the same time, you can feel a hardening and tightening of the uterine muscle, which is held at the peak of its intensity for a few seconds before the muscle begins to relax.
Women assume that contractions will get steadily longer, more frequent, and stronger. This is not so; don’t be disturbed if your contractions seem to vary. It’s as normal for a strong contraction to be followed by a weaker one that doesn’t last quite as long, as it is for contractions to follow one another relentlessly.
Your cervix dilates and thins The cervix is usually a thick-walled canal about three-fourths of an inch (two entimeters) long, and firmly closed. In the last few weeks, pregnancy hormones may soften your cervix, but the intense contractions of first-stage labor are needed to dilate and thin it. Dilation is measured in centimeters from 0-10 (up to four inches). Your cervix will only dilate about four centimeters (or one-and-a-half inches) during the latent phase, then progress to 10 centimeters (four inches) in the active phase. The pain increases as it becomes fully dilated during transition. Eventually, the whole cervix opens up and is made one with the body of the uterus, creating a continuous channel that your baby can pass through.
Your water breaks The membranes of the amniotic sac may rupture painlessly at any time during labor, although this usually happens toward the end of the first stage. Fluid may leak or gush out; the flow depends on the size and site of the break and whether or not the baby’s head is plugging the hole.
Usually, if the membranes rupture spontaneously near term, labor follows within a short time, although occasionally it’s delayed-if your baby’s presenting part is not engaged, or if your baby is presenting abnormally. Delay also occurs in normal cases. When this happens, you’ll be advised to have labor induced.
HOW LONG DOES LABOR LAST?
Labor times vary greatly, but an average labor lasts about 12-14 hours for first-time mothers, and about seven hours for subsequent labors. If your labor lasts longer than 12 hours the first time, or nine hours in subsequent labors, your doctor
will want to find out why progress is slow, and may intervene.
The first stage of labor can be further divided into three separate phases. The latent phase is the longest, lasting about eight hours for first babies, and you’ll feel contractions coming with increasing frequency and length, but they won’t be too distressing. Try to conserve your energy during this time as your body will be warming up for the more demanding phases to follow. The next, active phase, will be shorter, lasting about three to five hours, but this is when your contractions become more painful, and you may want some pain relief. The final, transitional phase, is the shortest and most intense of all, usually lasting just under an hour, and comes right before the delivery.
Transition
This is the most intense phase of the first stage. Your Contractions will now last about 60-90 seconds, with intervals of only 30-90 seconds. As the contractions become more forceful, you may find it hard to relax and this is the time you may feel the most discomfort. You may also feel a very strong urge to push, but should not do so unless you’re fully dilated. The intense pain may make you feel extremely irritable, even bad-tempered with your birth partner. This is natural. Don’t think you’re failing if you fear you lack the energy to go on any more; you’ll find hidden resources of energy to help you cope. Remind yourself that this phase means your baby’s birth is now just minutes away.